Breathing Space
by Lyndz13
Summary: A mistake could result in the end of Addison’s career. Could it also mean the end of her marriage as well? Addek
1. Chapter 1

Title: Breathing Space

Author: Lyndz13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but you are welcome to sue me for the little money indigo pays me.

Summary: A mistake could result in the end of Addison's career. Could it also mean the end of her marriage as well? Addions/Derek

Author Notes: Please give feedback. Tell me what you think, what you want to happen.

Addison woke to the birds chirping and the sunlight in her eyes, immediately she knew something was wrong. She quickly turned over and grabbed the alarm clock to see what time it was. It flashed 9am. She practically threw the clock in a rush to get out of bed. She was late for a very important surgery and she needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

While quickly finding something to wear she was thinking of all the ways she could hurt Derek for doing this to her. Before they went to bed last night Addison had told him 5 times not to forget to set the alarm after he left for work. She even wrote him a note, which she found on the floor while looking for her shoes. She grabbed all her stuff and flew out of the trailer like a bat out of hell, she had thrown her hair into a messy bun and had no make up on. She was dressed in jeans and a sweater that she had been wearing the night before. By the time she got to the ferry it was 9:30 and she was almost an hour late for work. She didn't bother getting out of her car for the trip across, instead she flipped down the visor and applied some make up and tried to do her hair. It took her another 15 minutes to get to the hospital in the rush hour traffic only to find that her patient was crashing. She did everything she could in the limited time she had but the woman and her child didn't make it. She was more angry than she had been in a long time, and there was only one person to blame and she was going to find him.

Derek was standing at the surgical floor nurses station with Bailey and her interns when he saw Addison walking towards him with a chilling look on her face.

"Hey Sweetie."

"Don't you hey sweetie me you stupid moron!" She had said it loud enough that everyone stopped what they were doing to turn and watch what was happening.

"Hey, there is no need..."

"Oh there is a need! Tell me, did you perhaps forget to do something for me this morning?"

"I don't think...Oh"

"Yeah Oh is right! Derek I missed my surgery!"

"Just schedule it another time. Its not that big a deal Addi." Addison practically strangled him right there.

"I can't reschedule Derek because SHE IS DEAD! I missed my surgery because you forgot to set the alarm again for me, after I reminded you 5 times and left you a fucking note!"

"Addison I'm sorry I wasn't thinking..."

"That's right you weren't thinking! In fact you never take the time to think about anything that has to do with me any more. Why did you even choose to stay with me if you aren't going to be with me! You can screw with my heart all you want but after that all I have is this job and you just successfully screwed that up for me too! I am probably going to get sued because of you."

Before Derek had a chance to respond the Chief walked up behind them.

"Addison, my office now!"

Addison gave Derek a hateful look and then turned on her heel and followed the Chief to his office. Everyone that had witnessed the argument couldn't believe that Derek had done that. They knew Addison was tough but the way she just dressed her own husband down was shocking.

Derek visibly shrunk down before he turned and kicked the garbage can beside him clear across the room and walked away.

An hour later the interns were standing around the nurses station once again when they saw Addison walking past dressed in clothes they never thought they would see her in. She was wearing jeans, flat boots and a sweater. Bailey walked up to her from the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?"

"I was suspended"

"What! For how long?"

"2 weeks right now but it could be longer depending on the action the family takes."

"He can't be serious. It wasn't your fault, you did tell him that right!"

"He's my husband, he may have ruined my career but I can't do the same to him."

"This is just...I don't even have the words. If you wont tell him I will. This hospital needs you!"

"Don't say a word Miranda please!"

Derek came down the hall towards them. People close by were pretending to do work, the relationship between the Shepherds was more gossip than the hospital could handle.

"Addison! What happened?"

"I was suspended Derek."

"What that's ridiculous! Why hasn't he called me into his office yet?"

"Because either way I missed my surgery. They died and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't see any point in taking you down with me, no matter how much I want to."

Derek looked down and shifted from foot to foot. Addison just shook her head at the whole situation.

"So where are you going?"

"To New York."

"What! Addison!"

"I'm going for 2 weeks. When I get back I am finding a new place to stay. Something with more than one plug for the entire unit. You can come with me or not right now I could care less."

Derek pulled Addison close to him. He placed his hand at the back of her neck pulling her closer and into his arms. She resisted at first but then succumb.

"Addi please know that I didn't purposefully do this to you. I know you reminded me but I never set out to hurt you I honestly forgot. Can you please stay with me? We can go house hunting tomorrow."

"I need some time Derek. I am just mad right now ok, I need some space...which is kind of funny because that the one thing you have given me lots of."

Derek just sighed knowing what she was saying was the truth.

"I am going to visit my family and some friends. I'll be at my parents house, I'll call you when I get there."

Addison pulled away to leave but Derek wouldn't let go.

"Derek..."

"Just...just know that I love you. I want you to come back home to me. I need you Addi, you are my soul mate, you are the love of my life. I love you." Derek pulled Addison close and gave her the most passionate kiss any of the onlookers had ever seen. Addison responded but pulled back before it got too heated. She kissed her fingers and then placed them on Derek's lips.

"I'll see you in two weeks"

With that she pushed her purse back onto her shoulder and headed out of the hospital without looking back.

Ok thats it for this chapter but please don't forget to give feedback. It may just make the next chapter happen sooner.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Breathing Space

Author: Lyndz13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but you are welcome to sue me for the little money indigo pays me.

Summary: A mistake could result in the end of Addison's career. Could it also mean the end of her marriage as well? Addison/Derek

Author Notes: I don't know if I like this chapter or not. I wrote it twice and it still seemed wrong to me. Oh well...Please give feedback. Tell me what you think, what you want to happen.

The moment Addison was out of sight, Derek felt his heart sink in his chest. He may have just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him and he hadn't even realized it until just then. This whole time he had been worried about his feelings for Meredith and making sure that Addison wasn't getting off easy. He didn't want to let her get close to him without making sure she wouldn't hurt him again. It never dawned on him that he was hurting her as much as he was. He just hoped that spending that much time in Manhattan wouldn't put more distance between them than there already was.

Addison's first stop when she reached Manhattan was her parents house. She hadn't seen them since she had left for Seattle and she had missed them terribly. Her father had answered the door when she knocked.

"Addi?"

Instead of greeting him back she walked up to him and hugged him for dear life.

"What's wrong hunnie?"

"Oh Dad everything's a mess."

Her fatherled her into the living room and sat her down on the couch. Addison's mother entered soon after and sat on the opposite side of her daughter.

"You know that Derek and I have been trying to make it work. Well I was anyways, he doesn't want to forgive me so he isn't trying very hard. Anyways the other day he didn't set the alarm for me after her had gotten up. I had reminded him 5 times but he still forgot. I was late for work, for a very important surgery actually and by the time I got there my patient and her child had died. I couldn't save them." Addison had begun crying by now and her parents just held her closer. They urged her to continue.

"We had this big blow out in front a bunch of people at the hospital, including Meredith the woman he fell in love with while he was gone. The Chief came up and ordered me into his office. He told me I was suspended for 2 weeks and that I'd better hope to god I didn't get sued. While I was changing into my street clothes decided I needed a break. I decided to come here. I saw Derek on my way out and he told me he loved me and that I was his soul mate and then he kissed me. He hasn't kissed me like that since we first fell in love, maybe not ever. I just left him standing there."

Addison's parents just held her close and let her cry. They had only seen her like this once, and that was when she came to them and told them that Derek had left. Addison's mother spoke up.

"You did what you needed to do sweetie. I think this time apart will be good for both of you. It will give you both time to think things over. This way you can spend some time with your family and friends and by the time you get back you will have a better idea of how you really feel."

"Why don't you stay go on up and have a nice relaxing bath and then get into bed. You look like you could use a long sleep." Addison father helped her up and pointed her in the direction of the stairs.

She spent the rest of her two weeks visiting with friends and family. She had even visited the hospital that both she and Derek had left so suddenly. Everyone was happy to see her there. Being here reminded her of how different her life was in Seattle. She didn't have any friends there, her whole life was the hospital and Derek. She vowed that was going to change when she got back..if she went back.

She had just said goodbye to her parents and was about to hail a cab when a black Mercedes pulled up. She recognized the car right away, it was Marks. He stepped out of the car and came around to her side.

"Hi Addison."

"Mark. What are you doing here?"

"I heard that you were heading back to Seattle today and I thought that we might be able to talk. I'll drive you to the airport and we can talk on the way."

Addison agreed and got in the front seat and waited for Mark to load her bags. He hopped in and they sped off towards the airport.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I know you are trying to make it work with Derek. It took me a while but I accept that, I mean you were married for over a decade. I just wanted to know how you were doing? I head (**heard**) what happened to get you out here."

"I really have no clue. I thought coming out here would give me the chance to clear my head and figure things out but that didn't happen. All I know is that I still love Derek, but it just hurts so much when I see him flirting with Meredith. He says they are just friends but he gives her the look that he used to save only for me."

"Addi I think you just need to go back there and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him what you need from him, if he can't give that to you then you have your answer. And if you need someone you know I am always here for you."

The rest of the drive was just a reminder of why she slept with Mark in the first place. He listened to her and cared about her. It was so obvious in the way that he treated her. She knew right now that if things didn't work out with Derek she could probably be just as happy with Mark, and that thought just confused her more.

She said goodbye to Mark with a long hug. She missed being hugged by someone who wanted her. She got on the plane and got ready to face all her demons back in Seattle.

By the time she reached the hospital it was time for her first shift back to start. She was well rested and ready to face almost anything...or so she told herself. She entered the hospital confidently walking towards the Chief who she saw standing talking with Derek, Burke and Bailey. They all greeted her and commented on how great she looked. She turned to the Chief and asked him if they could get it over with. The Chief lead her to his office and then closed the door.

"It would have been nice to know you were going to New York."

"I needed a break, and what better time to go than when I was suspended."

"I know what happened."

"I told him not to tell you. He's not in trouble is he?"

"He's not, but that's not who I heard it from. You should have just told me Addie."

"Probably but I didn't want to bring him down with me."

"Well it's all in the past. We explained what happened to the hospital lawyers and they said that if they decide to sue they don't really have a case because they refused all other doctors."

"Well that's good."

"Great! Well now that you are back you can get started on those three cases that traveled here just for you. I spent 2 weeks listening to them scream and yell about you not being available for surgery. I'm just glad you are back."

Addison didn't respond, just smiled warily at Webber before heading off to find Derek.

Addison headed down to the nurses station where she knew Derek would be. She scanned the area and saw him standing off to the side talking with Meredith. Normally that would be ok with her but she could see that he was obviously flirting with her. Seeing them together after Derek had confessed his love for her in front of the surgical floor was heartbreaking. Instead of walking over like she normally would, she turned around and caught the elevator up to the 5th floor NICU. It was time to deal with some patients.

By the end of the day Derek was starting to get worried. He hadn't heard anything from Addison and was starting to worry that she wasn't coming home. Just as he was about to call her he overheard Dr. Stevens as she was walking by.

"Did you see Dr. Shepherd today? She looks totally hot! The two weeks off was just what she needed. I little shopping, a little spa day is all a girl really needs."

Addison had come home and hadn't come to see him. Something must have happened and he was going to figure out what it was. He headed up to her unit only to be greeted by the sound of yelling coming from one of the rooms. He walked over and saw a pregnant woman in bed and an assortment of family members surrounding her, all of which where ganging up on his wife.

"We traveled all this way because you are the best, and then we get here and you are gone. You should have let us know, we could have saved time and money."

"I apologize but the situation was out of my control."

"How was it out of your control! I mean you are the doctor."

"I was suspended alright! I couldn't come in the hospital for 2 weeks."

"What? Why?"

Derek took that as his cue to come in and help Addison out.

"If you must know it was my fault"

"And who the hell are you?"

"I'm her husband. I'm also the one who got her suspended. I'm the one that caused her patient to die. So please direct your anger at me. It's my fault."

"One of your patients died!"

"Derek I know you are trying to help here but you're not. I'll see you at home ok?"

"But Addi..."

"Just go!"

Derek left the room feeling horrible. There was just nothing he could do right lately, but he was going to remedy that.

_Ok well that's the end of this chatper and I still don't know if I like it or not. It just seems to me missing something. Tell me what you think._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Breathing Space **

Addison finished dealing with the 3 families before heading home. She was tired and frustrated and just wanted to fall into bed and never get up again. She was still no closer to figuring out her feelings towards Derek, especially since seeing him with Meredith earlier this afternoon.

When she got home she saw dinner sitting out on the table for her and Derek was sitting on the couch reading. He placed his book down and was about to apologize when he saw Addison's hand go up to stop him.

"I know you only had my best interests at heart but I have been dealing with people like that my entire career and I know how to handle them. I appreciate that you cared enough to intervene but it wasn't needed."

"I am sorry all the same."

Addison took off her coat and hung it up, she headed into the bedroom to change into her pyjamas. Derek called to her from the front section of the trailer.

"I made you some dinner. Let me just heat it up for you."

She came out and sat down at the table. Derek placed her dinner in front of her and then sat down in the seat opposite her.

"So how was New York?"

"It was good, my parents were glad to see me. They say hi by the way." Derek just smiled

"So what else did you do there?"

"I visited the hospital while I was there. Everybody misses us and Carter tried to get us come back."

"I'm sure he did, he lost 2 of his finest surgeons when we left. Did you uh...did you see Mark there?"

"Um not there but he did show up just as I was leaving to come back here. He drove me to JFK and we talked."

"I see"

"Derek he was my best friend too, and as you know that is not something I have a lot of right now."

"I know...I know." Derek lowered his head in defeat. If he was going to try and work things out with Addison he was going to have to stop contradicting her at every turn. He decided to change the subject.

"So how come you didn't come and see me when you got to the hospital."

"I did actually, right after I was done meeting with the Chief."

"I think I would have remembered that." Derek said laughing "Why didn't you actually come over and see me?"

"You were busy."

"So what?"

"I mean you were off tucked into a corner with Meredith with Bailey scowling at the two of you flirting kind of busy."

"I...Uh"Derek was at a loss for words. He knew he couldn't deny it so he didn't say anything.

"Derek, while I was away I decided that I need some things to happen if we are really going to make this thing work. I know you are still mad at me, and that's fine; but I need you to stop flirting with Meredith. I can't be with you if you are still trying to be with Meredith. I know you are in love with her, but to tell you the truth I am still in love with Mark. I chose you, and you chose me. It's time you started acting like it."

Addison got up from the table and put her leftovers in a container to bring to work tomorrow. When they were away in the fridge she went into the bathroom and closed the door. Derek on the other hand sat at the table in shock. Things were falling apart. All he wanted was for it to go back to the way it was before the affair. But he didn't know how to make that happen. That night when Derek got into bed he didn't try to hold or touch Addison, he just rolled onto his side and watched her sleep.

The next day Derek heard an unfamiliar ringing. He opened his eyes only to see Addison getting out of bed.

"What the hell is that sound?"

"It's my cell phone alarm. I am going for a run with Doc. I'll be back before we have to go to work."

With that she got changed and left the trailer with Doc following closely behind. By the time she got back Derek was up and eating breakfast. Addi had a quick shower and got ready for work. Instead of straitening her hair like she had been doing lately she left it curly. She pulled some of it back into a clip, then proceeded to put on some makeup. By the time they were ready to go Addison looked like a million dollars. Derek just sat on the hood of their car mesmerized as she walked down the stairs towards him. He continued to watch her until Addison asked him if he was ready to go. They got in and headed to work.

"I am taking a couple hours for lunch and going house hunting, do you want to come with?"

"Addi I have patients. I can't just..." Addison interrupted him quickly

"That's fine, I think I know what I am looking for anyways." Derek realized this was one of those times that he had to put his family in front of his work if he was going to make this work.

"Just give me a chance to free my afternoon up a bit and I'm sure I can make it. I want to do this together."

At lunch time he saw Addison walking towards him in her coat. He had totally forgotten that they were going house hunting. She came and stood beside him and leant against the counter.

"Let me guess, you either can't come or you forgot. Which one is it?"

"Neither, I am just running a bit behind. Give me 5 minutes to go and get dressed."

Derek gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then ran off towards the attending locker room.

As Addison was waiting the Chief happened to walk by.

"Addison. Going somewhere?"

"I am just waiting for Derek to get dressed. We are going house hunting for a couple of hours."

"You both cleared your schedules?"

"Of course."

"Good, good. So where are you planning on looking?"

"I really don't know yet. I just told the realtor what I was interested in seeing and what kind of neighborhood I was looking for. I'll let you know how we fare when I see you next."

Derek chose that moment to come running back up to them.

"Ok I am all set, hey Richard."

"Go do your house hunting but don't forget to come back and don't take too long either."

They both shook their heads as they walked away.

They had been to about 4 houses already and none were what they were looking for. They had just arrived at a nice house. It had 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a nice kitchen and living area as well as a nice sized backyard that looked out onto a large park. It was just what they were looking for. The realtor guided them through the house.

"Ok now up here we have 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Right now one of the bedrooms is being used as an office but that can easily be changed. Do you have kids?" They both answered at the same time.

"No"

"Not yet" was the answer heard from Derek. Addison's head quickly turned to look at Derek and then back to the realtor.

_Flashback - 4 years ago_

_For the first time in their lives the Shepherds were taking time off from work. They had just had their first child, Katie Elizabeth Shepherd. She was perfect in their eyes, something that was created by their love of each other. Their families were happy for them. Derek was the first of the Shepherd children to have one of his own, so his mother and sisters were frequent visitors to their home. Addison's mother was there just as much, if not more. 2 weeks after she was born Addison and Derek were just putting Katie to bed when they noticed that she was having a hard time breathing. Addison immediately checked her over and couldn't tell anything without her instruments. They got her bundled up and rush to the hospital. _

_When they got there Katie was taken for some tests. Addison tried to follow but they wouldn't let her. Their Chief of Surgery and good friend, Carter Sykes, held them back._

"_You aren't doctors tonight, you are parents. I need you both to go have a seat and we will come and get you both when the tests are finished. You know we are doing everything and putting forward all of our resources. Everything is going to be fine, just have a seat._

_The next thing they both knew Carter was approaching them with Katie's file in his hand._

"_I have some bad news"_

"_What is it! What's wrong!"_

"_Katie has Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. If we don't operate right now she may not make it. Addie you know the risks, you can explain this better than anybody."_

"_Thats why I have to be in there. I am the best and I need to be in there."_

"_You know that's not possible. You can pick who you want in there but I can't let either of you in."_

_They sat down and waited out the long surgery. By the time it was over they were surrounded by all their family. When they weren't pacing or talking to family they were being approached by hospital staff with best wishes. When Carter finally came up to them he had a grim look on his face. They knew right away that she didn't make it. _

"_Addie, Derek...I am so sorry. We did everything we could..." At that moment Addison collapsed against Derek and started crying. Derek just held her close as the tears ran down his face. Their family surrounded them in support. It was that moment when everything changed. _

_End of Flashback _

"I think I am just going to take a look around."

"Sure, I'll just go on downstairs and give you both some privacy." The realtor turned and headed back down the stairs. Derek turned and went into the room that Addison had entered.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you know how I get when we talk about kids."

"It has been 4 years Addi, we have to start talking about it some time. You do want a family don't you?"

"Yes, I am just scared."

"We are older and more experienced now, we know what to look for. We can stop it this time."

Derek came towards her and pulled her into his arms. Addison just let him hold her. She rested her head on his shoulder and took the time to just breath in his scent.

"I guess. Lets just concentrate on getting our lives back together first."

"Sounds good. So what do you think about this house?"

"I think it's perfect."

"Me too."

They went down to the realtor and told her they wanted it. It took a couple days but the house was theirs. A new house for a fresh start was how they both chose to look at their new home.

_Ok well that went a little better in my opinion. I don't know what I was expecting to happen in this chapter but it wasn't this lol. I guess I am just going to have to put that stuff in Chapter 4. I am addicted to writing this stuff so you will probably see another update before you wake up lol. Enjoy and please feedback! I check what everyone says and get ideas from comments, so help a girl out._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Breathing Space **

Since buying the house they had painted and fixed everything they had wanted. Their old furniture had been shipped to them from Manhattan and everything was set up. It had taken a lot of work but it was finally done. They had closed the trailer, with the promise of staying there on the weekends when they weren't busy at the hospital. They were in a prime location and only a 10 minute drive to the hospital.

On the way to work 2 weeks after buying the house Derek turned to Addison with an excited look on his face. To Addison that only meant trouble.

"What kind of trouble are you thinking of now?" she said with a smile

"Funny girl, but seriously I was thinking we could have house warming this weekend. I mean the house is done and we could have a bunch of people over from work, maybe even some family. What do you say?"

"I say it's a great idea, but who are we going to invite? You forget that nobody likes me here."

"Of course they do. We can invite Richard and Adele, Bailey and Tucker, Burke and Yang..."

"Ah but once we invite Yang the rest of the interns will know we are having a party. Do we have to invite them? I wouldn't mind inviting Stevens, but once we invite one we have to invite them all."

"Why don't we just have an open house. We could just tell people to come and bring a friend. Tell them we want to keep it small but they are welcome to being whomever they want."

"What if Meredith shows up?"

"Then she shows up. She parties with the rest of us and goes home. I will be friendly but nothing more."

"Then I guess we are having a party."

"So how does Saturday night sound?"

"Perfect. I have Saturday off."

The days leading up to the party were filled with chaos and excitement. Everyone was looking forward to it, including Meredith who had told Derek she was looking forward to attending.

On Friday night Addison had gone out and bought a bunch of little white Christmas lights and strung them up all around the backyard. It was a magical sight to see. Derek had gone out and bought all the food and drinks, after he was done in the kitchen he stood in the doorway to the backyard and watched as Addison looked around making things perfect. He didn't know how things were going to turn out tomorrow night but he wasn't going to let Addison out of his sight.

Work that day couldn't have gotten over sooner. Everyone was on a high as they left the hospital that day. They all went home to get ready for the party.

At around 9 most of the guests had arrived. The music was going and everyone was having a great time. Addison was talking with Adele and Richard on one side of the room. Derek was out in the Kitchen talking to Bailey. Miranda excused herself to get another drink and Meredith swooped in.

"So do I get a tour?"

"I think that could be an option if you play your cards right." Derek said with a smirk on his face.

"There is actually something I wanted to talk with you about, if we can find somewhere to talk in private."

"Well then am I to take it you have seen everything there is to see down here?" Meredith nodded and laughed "Then shall we head upstairs to conclude the rest of our tour?" Derek offered Meredith his arm and they both headed up the stairs. Most of the party saw where they were going, including Addison. She tried to stay downstairs and give them the benefit of the doubt by Adele finally turned to her and spoke.

"What are you still doing down here girl? Go up there and get your man!"

Addison excused herself and quietly headed upstairs. She couldn't hear anything once she got up there. Tiptoeing to one of the empty rooms with the lights on she peeked in and stopped dead. There was Derek and Meredith nose to nose quietly whispering to each other. She was about to say something to them when Meredith leaned forward and captured Derek in a kiss. Instead of breaking away from the kiss Derek seemed to be savoring it. It broke her heart, she turned and headed back down the stairs. Everyone saw her come downstairs in a hurry and assumed the worst. She went to the hall closet and grabbed her coat and headed for the door. Richard intercepted her before she got there.

"Addi what happened?"

"Oh you know, just caught my husband making out with Meredith."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, I hadn't got that far yet. Probably a hotel."

"Just call me when you get there. I want to know you are safe."

Richard pulled her into a fatherly hug and then let her go. The next thing everyone knew he was telling them all to leave.

"The party is over. Get your stuff and leave as quietly as possible." There were just a few people left in the house once everyone had gone. Bailey and Tucker, Izzie who had come to the party with Meredith, and the Chief and Adele. They all took a seat on the couch and waited for the two to come downstairs. When they finally did they expected it to be so busy that no one would notice. Unfortunately they were wrong.

"Where is everybody?" Derek asked while leaving Meredith's side.

"I asked them to leave. Now where were you too?"

"I was just giving Meredith the tour." Derek said lying through his teeth.

"I wasn't aware that tours included kissing." Both Derek and Meredith were stunned. They hadn't heard anyone come up the stairs.

"You saw us?"

"Ah no that would be your wife. We all saw you go up there together, she tried to trust you and let you be but we wouldn't let her. So she went up after you and not 5 minutes later came back down in a rush. Everyone in this house knew what had happened so I made them leave."

"Addison saw us! Where is she?"

"She left."

"Left? Well where did she go?"

"I don't know."

Izzie stood up, not able to take it any longer. "Meredith what are you thinking! They are Married and trying to make it work. Is it like your mission in life to ruin everyone else's!"

Meredith didn't have anything to say to that. But Izzie wasn't done yet.

"And you! You picked Addison! I think it's time you started acting like it. Stop ignoring her and start treating her like a second class citizen. I am just so sick of this whole thing. I am leaving now. Meredith if you have any sense at all you will get in the car with me and leave." Izzie turned and left the house. Meredith took one last look at Derek and left. The rest of the staff left soon afterwards. Derek just collapsed on the couch trying to get Addison to answer her phone, but all he was getting was the busy signal.

Across town Addison sat out on a bench overlooking the water. Her phone pressed to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Mark..."

"Addison, what wrong"

"Everything was going fine. We bought a house, the open house was tonight and it was going well until everyone saw him and Meredith go upstairs together. I didn't want to go up there cause I want to trust him but Adele made me. They were kissing! In our new house. It was supposed to be our new beginning." Mark could hear Addison sobbing on the other line and it broke his heart.

"What can I do for you?"

"Can you come here?"

_Ok well this is another chapter that I just let my fingers do the talking. I kind of like it tho. Hope you all do too. Please review._


	5. Chapter 5

**Breathing Space - Chapter 5**

Mark had hopped on the first flight to Seattle and was there within 5 hours. By the time he got there it was around 5:30 and the sun was just starting to rise. He had hopped in a cab and had headed to the harbor. He paid the cab driver and headed over to the lone figure looking out onto the water. Not wanting to startle her he walked around to face her and leaned back against the railing. She had a blank look on her face and dried tear tracks running down her face.

"Hey..."

"I'm glad you are here." Addison got up off the bench and walked into his arms pressing her face into his chest. He just pulled her close and vowed to never let anyone hurt her this way again. She was supposed to be going into work in an hour but when she had called Richard to let him know she was ok, he told her to take as much time as she needed.

Since the moment that the guests had left Derek had been trying to find Addison. He had been calling her cell phone every 5 minutes and had left so many messages that her mailbox was full. He had driven to all the spots he could think of to look for her, and had called every hotel in Seattle with no luck. He had even called her parents in Manhattan to see if she had contacted them. He called his own family to see if she had maybe called one of his sisters. After all, they all joked that Addison was sister number 5.

By the time work rolled around, Derek wasn't any closer to finding her, than he was at 10pm. He got dressed and rushed to the hospital in the hopes that Addison would show up. She was just as dedicated to her patients as he was.

He continued on to the hospital and proceeded to search every square inch with no luck. He was just going to have to accept that he wasn't going to find her until she was ready, and who knows how long that will be.

Nobody had seen or heard anything from Addison in 3 days. She and Mark had gotten a hotel room where she proceeded to sleep all day and all night. Mark took care of her and made sure she ate. He was also the one to convince her to get out of bed and face him.

"I don't want to see him."

"Well I'm sure that's exactly how he felt about you when he found us together." Addison just gave him a fowl look.

"Will you come with me?"

"You know I will."

Together they got ready and went into the hospital. Addison had made an effort to at least look presentable when she got dressed. She still managed to outshine all of the women she passed. The first thing she did was go see the Chief.

"Addison...I see you've brought a friend. Dr. Sloan."

"Dr. Webber I am just here as a friend. But I was wondering if you have any spots available to give me something to do while I am here visiting."

"I'm not sure if I want you hanging around this hospital, but I'll see what I can do. Are you ok Addy?"

"I don't know what I am to tell you the truth. I just want to get this over with."

Both Addison and Mark headed out to the main surgical floor. They saw Bailey talking with her interns at the nursing station. Addison took a deep breath and they both headed for the attending's locker room. It was as if everyone on the floor stopped what they were doing to watch her walk through. The interns were shocked that she had actually brought Mark with her into the hospital, that she had even called Mark. The rumors were really going to fly with this.

They had been in the locker room for around 5 minutes when Derek came walking down the hall. Everyone knew there was going to be some kind of blowout and didn't want to leave. Derek approached the nurses station and noticed everyone giving him funny looks.

"What's going on?" He turned to follow their gazes and his eyes met Addison's. She and Mark had just walked out of the locker room together. Derek rushed over to her.

"Addison"

He tried to pull her into his arms but realized his mistake when she seemed to shrug away in pain. It was then that he really noticed who was standing beside her.

"What the hell are you doing here? Come to take her back when we are at our worst!"

"I am here to take care of her, somebody has to."

"Oh that's rich coming from the guy who's responsible for this whole mess in the first place."

"Why don't you take a look in the mirror Derek. You practically pushed her into my arms!"

_Flashback - Christmas 2003 _

_It was Christmas eve and the Shepherd house was full. This year they had invited Derek's family to spend the holidays with them. All four of his sisters and their husbands were staying with them, as well as his parents. The house was packed but they didn't mind because they were all having a great time. _

_They had just had dinner and were sitting down in the living room to chat and have coffee. Mark had come over to celebrate with them because his family had decided to go to the Mayan Riviera for the holidays. They were just about to open their traditional one present on Christmas eve when Derek's pager went off. _

_He got up and went into the kitchen, the next any of them saw of him was when he passed the room to grab his coat. Addison got up to go see what was going on. _

"_Derek you can't tell me you are going into the hospital tonight, it's Christmas! You're family is here."_

"_There is nothing I can do. One of my patients needs me."_

"_Let someone else take care of them. You don't have to be the best every day. Derek we need you here...I need you here, especially this year." _

_Everyone in the other room could hear every word. They could only imagine how Addison was feeling after losing Katie under a year ago. None could understand why Derek was acting this way. Derek came back into the room to say goodbye to his family._

"_Listen, I'm sorry to ruin the fun here but I have to go into the hospital for a while, I should be back before breakfast."_

"_Can't you just tell them you can't come in?" Derek's mother asked._

"_Mom this is my patient, everything I do from now on determines who is going to get the Head of Neurosurgery position. I need to do this. I promise I'll be back soon. Mark take care of her for me." Mark just shook his head and responded._

"_I always do man...I always do."_

_End Flashback_

"I know I wasn't the ideal husband and I am working on that but you have no right to be here."

"I am here to support Addy as her friend. I know there is no chance anything is going to happen between us so I am being the bigger person by helping her be with you. So why don't you two take this somewhere private so you don't give these people more to gossip about."

Addison looked up into Derek's eyes, she nodded her head and followed him to the Chief's office for some privacy.

_Ok well I liked this chapter, I hope you liked it too. I am still not sure who she is going to end up with but as you can probably tell I am leaning towards Derek, but who knows. Please review, I look forward to reading your comments. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Breathing Space - Chapter 6**

Derek held the door open for Addison before coming in behind her and shutting the door. Addison just stood over by the window wringing her hands together. Derek was unsure how to start but just decided to jump right in with the first thing that popped into his head. It turns out that was not the best plan.

"It was just a kiss."

"Excuse me!"

"No! I mean it was like a goodbye kiss. It was like the final step to really getting over her."

"Somehow I picture that more as a friendly kiss rather than pushing your tongue's her throat."

"I know...but you have to know that I really want to be with you. You are my past, and while you may have had to share the present with Meredith you are the only one I see myself with in the future."

"Where did you get that, a greeting card?"

"Actually that one is 100 original." Derek said trying to lighten up the conversation. It only got him a sad smile from Addison, but he figured that was better than nothing.

"What are we going to do about us?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Against my better judgment. Do you really still love me or are you just holding onto the past?"

"I most definitely still love you. Can we forget this whole year has happened? Mark, Meredith, everything."

"I want to so badly, but I'm not sure my heart could take it if something else happened."

"Then lets start fresh. I'll move out into the trailer and you can stay in the house. Let me take you out on dates, buy you flowers, woo you. Lets give ourselves a chance to fall in love again."

"I don't know Derek. Should it be this hard? I didn't think life was supposed to be this hard"

"My life isn't worth living if you're not in it. Please give us another chance."

"Can you give me some time to think it over?"

"Of course."

"So you will let me know?"

"As soon as I figure it out."

They both headed out of the office and walked back to their waiting friends. Just before they reached them Derek saw Mark standing there waiting for Addison. He still didn't like the fact that he was here, but understood her need for a friend. He spoke out her name to stop her.

"Addi" She turned with questioning eyes and saw the look of fear in his eyes. Not caring that everyone was watching she pulled him into a quick hug an then ran her palm down the side of his cheek before walking towards Mark. By the looks of it they were saying goodbye. The question that was on everyone's was if it was forever.

Mark and Addison had walked together up to the NICU with Izzie trailing a good distance behind.

"So what did he say?"

"He want to start fresh. He wants to start dating me again and give us that chance to fall in love all over again."

"It's good. I have to give him that."

"So you think I should say yes?"

"I think you should think it over and then decide. For now lets just get to work."

Mark headed off to the cosmetic surgery unit of the hospital and Izzie caught Addison up on her patients. The day went by pretty quickly. Lunch was an awkward event. Mark and Addison had both headed down to the cafeteria for lunch when Derek showed up. He knew she wasn't ready to talk to him yet so he got his food and then left.

It took Addison a week to really make up her mind. In that time she had only seen Derek in passing. Mark was staying in the guest room at their house and Derek had moved to the trailer. Every evening after work She and Mark would make dinner together and talk.

"So what are you going to tell him?"

"I have no clue. It's been the only thing I have been thinking about this past week and I have come no closer to an answer."

"Then answer these questions for me. Do you still love him?"

"Yes."

"Can you see yourself being with anybody besides him?" Addison looked at Mark unsure if she wanted to answer, knowing his feelings for her."Just answer the question Addie"

"No not really. In the end its always Derek."

"Then I think you have your answer. You have both hurt each other, but you are getting a second chance here. You can move on and learn from your mistakes so that it won't happen again."

"I guess you are right. How am I going to tell him?"

"I don't know but do me a favor and tell him outside of the hospital, those people don't need another show from you two." Addison just smiled and walked over and gave Mark a hug.

"I just want to thank you for being here with me. I know how hard it must be for you."

"I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all. I think I always knew you two would end up together so it's alright."

The next day at work Addison saw Derek talking to one of the nurses. She waited for them to finish and then approached him.

"Hey" Derek looked up in surprise.

"Hey! How are you?"

"I'm good, I actually wanted to talk to you about your offer."

"What have you decided?"

"Maybe we could get together for lunch, someone recently told me that we put on too many shows for the people in this hospital."

Derek whined "Addi... I don't think I will be able to work if I have to think about it until lunch time."

He looked around to see if anyone was nearby, then looked back at Addison.

"We are practically alone here, just tell me. Please I beg of you."

"So confident I am going to say yes aren't you. You wouldn't be so excited if you thought I was going to say no."

"you're not going to say no though...right?"

"Fine whatever. Derek when you said I was your future it got me to thinking about my own. Mark asked me a bunch of questions to help me figure this out. In the end I realized I don't want to be with you any more...I'm sorry" Derek's face went blank, he was in shock. Addison watched him process what she had just said for about 30 seconds before she started laughing.

"You think this is funny. You broke my heart Addison." Derek said in anger.

"I am laughing because I just wanted to see what you would say if I said no to you, you cocky bastard." Addison laughed harder at the expressions that crossed Derek's face.

"You...there are no words for how cruel you are. You bitch!" Derek said laughing. Thinking a fight was about to happen, people turned to see what was going on.

Addison was still laughing. When Derek made a grab for her sides. Luckily she had just come out of surgery and was in her scrubs and running shoes. Addison backed away and started walking quickly down the hall away from Derek. He ran after her, which in turn caused her to start running away. They were both laughing , dodging around people who were watching them with smiles on their faces.

The chief was currently in the conference room talking to all of the interns about the upcoming months when they all saw Addison run by with Derek right behind her. The Chief got up thinking the worst. When they all saw Derek catch Addison and pull her into his arms and spin her around. He put her down and proceeded to push her up against the wall and kiss her soundly. The Chief just shook his head with a smile and then called out to Patricia.

"Patricia put in a double order of condoms. If this is anything like when they were interns things are about to get very interesting around here. I don't know if I can take it a second time. Never have I met two people who cause more trouble in my life. Good Grief!"

Ok i think that is the last chapter of this particular story unless you all want to see the dating process, which i think i am going to end up doing. There are so many possibilities for mischief there. Let me know what you think, and if you think i should continue.

I also made a Addison/Markmusic video for all of you out there that wanted to see them together in the fic...sorry. You can view it, and my other addek music video's on youtube...Ok for some reason the site isn't letting me post the link. Just go to youtube and look up the video's the Addison/Mark video is called 'Life Before Seattle' , 'Baracuda' and 'Eve, the apple of my eye' are the other two. Enjoy 

http/ 


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